OK, so I never actually bothered looking into ‘Mindfulness’. Quite honestly, I don’t think I can fit being mindful into my day. It’s hard to imagine babbling brooks and falling leaves when we’ve had hospital trips and first birthdays to deal with. Instead I’ve decided to embrace and appreciate the chaos in my life at present, and am finding time to be grateful for, come to think of it, most things.
Theo’s first birthday was an enormous event to feel grateful for. We survived a whole year together, buddy! Alex and I took the day off work. We slept lots, walked lots, and ate cake. Lots of it (note the photo of the AMAZING cake my mum baked!). The sun shone for his party, and judging by how full our recycling bin is, everyone had a good time! I read the blog I wrote about losing my mojo, and feel so silly to have ever felt like that now. I don’t like that ‘woe is me’ mindset, and that’s exactly the ‘head’ I was wearing when I wrote that (I reckon it was hormone-induced). The amount of people that turned up to Theo’s party, the letters, presents, and cards that arrived in the post are proof of the things and people I was blocking out the week I wrote that blog; the week I will now refer to as my ‘quarter-life crisis’.
My lust for adventure has made an appearance recently. After sailing the seas and living abroad through work for over two years, I’d had enough and just wanted a bit of ‘normal’ (what ever that is). I wanted to spend time with my family, settle down with Alex, and do everything all my friends were doing back at base. And I’ve loved it. I’ve had the chance grow some roots in this amazing town, meet new, bonkers people, and crawl out of my small, musician bubble, learning about new things I’d never have thought of before. Now though, I fancy exploring the world a little more. We’ve booked a mini-break. I know it’s not a six month stint in Thailand, washing my one bra in a jungle, or eating a chicken fetus in China. It’s not climbing Kilimanjaro, or cycling to India on a unicycle. But I’m so excited to go to Madrid, drink Rioja, and eat a decent Paella instead of the Uncle Ben’s 3 minute wonder we sell at work. I’m excited to see some art, wander the Spanish streets in my sandals, and to be warm! I’m mentally blocking out the fact we’ll have to fly with a 17 month old, a buggy, and the kitchen sink (surely that’s being mindful?) I’m confident we’re going to have a blast, no matter how little a distance we’ve traveled.
So I don’t really think ‘mindfulness’ is called for in my case. I think I should just stop faffing about crappy things. I hate the memes on Facebook that say things like ‘life’s too short for matching socks’, because inside I’m so anal about matching socks, but I get where it’s coming from. I’m letting go, embracing the chaos, and searching for small adventures. Who knows, maybe one day I might even wear odd socks*.
*This however is very doubtful.